Oh Blogging World - sometimes I write all of the things all of the times.
Other times - ok, most of the time - I have to sit myself down and remember that I started this thing and it's up to me to continue it.
There's so much swirling around in my head right now.
First: Why am I feeling a sense of sadness right now?
I was skating at Oaks on Sunday night and a wash of sadness came over me midway through the evening.
I don't know what brought it on and I have yet to figure out what it's about. It's not a strong sense of sadness. Just a sort of "meh" feeling. I usually have cycles of being slightly depressed. But this doesn't feel the same.
Second: Why am I already failing with the weight loss?
I've already hit a speed bump in my weight loss journey. I can feel myself slipping back into old habits.
I have yet to break my sweet tooth. I just can't seem to get over that hurdle. I don't eat as much bread. So that's a good thing. I'm also not getting in enough exercise. I get home and sit my ass down on the couch. It's such a horrible habit. I realized that what I need to do is have my walking shoes with me and drive over to the track by the high school and just walk for 30 min to an hour after work depending on what day it is. I've been good with going skating on Sun/Thurs and water aerobics on Tues. But I need to up it. I need to do weights. I need to remember I'm doing this because I don't want the same health issues as my mom.
I am participating in the Retro Run - and I'm pretty excited!
http://www.theretrorun5k.com/#!portland/c1450
Third: Our society scares me
The rape. The murder. The inability to see past our own noses.
I think Henry Rollins says everything that I could ever want to say. This man. I need to learn more about him. One of my college suite-mates loved him (still does to this day actually), and I never fully understood her obsession. The more I learn about him, the more I want to spend a day just listening to him talk things through. Please click on and read the link (so long as it works, I had trouble with his website earlier this evening).
http://henryrollins.com/dispatch/detail/dispatch_03-17-12_los_angeles/
Fourth: How can I better cultivate the friendships I have/expand my network?
My community is small here in Portland. Well, ok not small. It's roller derby.
So I guess it's just not diverse. When I hosted my 30th birthday - all the people were roller derby. There were no work people or folks from other circles. I'm not bothered by this. I just realize that I need to stretch myself and get out and do other things.
I'm not sure where to start on the getting involved elsewhere.
But I do want to host at least these two parties this year: White Trash Bunco and a Coloring Party.
The Coloring Party idea belongs to my friend and better blogger Aurora.
She's seriously been inspiring me since college (and is the same one who has loved Henry Rollins all these years)
http://www.auroralady.com/have-your-own-coloring-book-party/
There's a bit more - but this is a pretty long post already.
19 March 2013
15 March 2013
Weight Gain
I finally went to a meeting and didn't loose weight.
I really wasn't surprised.
Buuuut - I can't complain.
It was a mere .4 gain.
The leader stated: That's the difference between a morning and night weigh in.
Which is what had happened.
Really - I wasn't surprised I hadn't lost.
It wasn't the best of weeks. Poor food choices. Lack of exercise.
So I'd say this week I'll get into shape. Buuuuttt...Aunt Irma is visiting.
And all I want to do is eat all of the cheez-it's I can. Le Sigh.
(and I just ate far too many)
Tomorrow back to it.
I really wasn't surprised.
Buuuut - I can't complain.
It was a mere .4 gain.
The leader stated: That's the difference between a morning and night weigh in.
Which is what had happened.
Really - I wasn't surprised I hadn't lost.
It wasn't the best of weeks. Poor food choices. Lack of exercise.
So I'd say this week I'll get into shape. Buuuuttt...Aunt Irma is visiting.
And all I want to do is eat all of the cheez-it's I can. Le Sigh.
(and I just ate far too many)
Tomorrow back to it.
08 March 2013
Youtube Inspiration
Reminder: Be Yourself. Stand Up and Join In.
The first video is about being a leader as well as a follower.
The second video is really about not giving a damn care about others and just dancing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hO8MwBZl-Vc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=qfQng2kjpxI
The first video is about being a leader as well as a follower.
The second video is really about not giving a damn care about others and just dancing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hO8MwBZl-Vc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=qfQng2kjpxI
Weight Loss Check in Week "9"
Since the 3 day bout weekend in February I have not been tracking.
I'm not sure why. I just haven't done it. There have been a few days here and there that I've written some stuff down. But for some reason I let myself "fall off the wagon"
I must have been sort of aware of what I was eating however. And, other than not getting in any exercise when I was sick I have gone to water aerobics and skating.
My last weigh in was 2/21.
That was 2 weeks ago.
Ok - technically 15 days ago.
I should be on week 10 - back on track now. And that's what matters.
I chose to not go to my meeting last night. The sun was shining. I wanted one last day of being off the wagon. Truffle fries and a steamed bbq pork hum bao for dinner. Thank you Jade Teahouse (if you've never eaten there - it's mega delicious and really affordable - http://www.jadeportland.com/).
I ate outside. Enjoyed my meal while two dogs stared at me, asking me with their eyes to throw them a taste of deliciousness. I did not oblige.
Instead I weighed in this morning. For Friday at 9:30 am - the meeting was packed! I stepped up to the scale thinking that I had probably gained at least a little bit of the weight back. Or at least stayed somewhere around the same.
I was shocked to see the results. A loss of 3.4 pounds. What? That's crazy.
I am aware that I usually weigh in at night, after I've eaten all day and that this means things could be a little skewed. But I'll take it!
It also means that I've now lost a grand total of 15.8 pounds and I have a new daily point target (DPT) of 28.
I know that the lower the DPT, the better. But it's always bitter sweet - going down a point. Less food I get to consume that isn't zero point fruit or veggies. I know. Fruits and Veggies are better for me. But I am still having trouble managing my sweet tooth. Not sure why it's so much harder this time than the last.
I've got a 4 day weekend (3 days after today). I need to do some self reflection and re-work my daily eating plan. I also need to figure out a work out plan. This might mean waking up earlier and that really doesn't excite me. But, I'm definitely not getting in enough exercise.
I'm not sure why. I just haven't done it. There have been a few days here and there that I've written some stuff down. But for some reason I let myself "fall off the wagon"
I must have been sort of aware of what I was eating however. And, other than not getting in any exercise when I was sick I have gone to water aerobics and skating.
My last weigh in was 2/21.
That was 2 weeks ago.
Ok - technically 15 days ago.
I should be on week 10 - back on track now. And that's what matters.
I chose to not go to my meeting last night. The sun was shining. I wanted one last day of being off the wagon. Truffle fries and a steamed bbq pork hum bao for dinner. Thank you Jade Teahouse (if you've never eaten there - it's mega delicious and really affordable - http://www.jadeportland.com/).
I ate outside. Enjoyed my meal while two dogs stared at me, asking me with their eyes to throw them a taste of deliciousness. I did not oblige.
Instead I weighed in this morning. For Friday at 9:30 am - the meeting was packed! I stepped up to the scale thinking that I had probably gained at least a little bit of the weight back. Or at least stayed somewhere around the same.
I was shocked to see the results. A loss of 3.4 pounds. What? That's crazy.
I am aware that I usually weigh in at night, after I've eaten all day and that this means things could be a little skewed. But I'll take it!
It also means that I've now lost a grand total of 15.8 pounds and I have a new daily point target (DPT) of 28.
I know that the lower the DPT, the better. But it's always bitter sweet - going down a point. Less food I get to consume that isn't zero point fruit or veggies. I know. Fruits and Veggies are better for me. But I am still having trouble managing my sweet tooth. Not sure why it's so much harder this time than the last.
I've got a 4 day weekend (3 days after today). I need to do some self reflection and re-work my daily eating plan. I also need to figure out a work out plan. This might mean waking up earlier and that really doesn't excite me. But, I'm definitely not getting in enough exercise.
04 March 2013
What Is Your Dream Job and Why. (Question #7)
There are 2 different ideal jobs that come to mind.
I’d love either of them.
The first being a party planner. The type where I could use all of my creative ideas. Paper and food. I love the idea of all the socialness. The prep. The creating. Doing this full time would bring me all of the joy.
The second would include traveling. I don’t know the exact job. But it would include someone paying me to travel to exotic locations and eating delicious food.
Both of these would bring me joy. And isn’t that what a dream job is supposed to be - something that is full of joy. Something that isn’t really a job?
Perhaps I could travel and plan parties. The best of both worlds.
I’d love either of them.
The first being a party planner. The type where I could use all of my creative ideas. Paper and food. I love the idea of all the socialness. The prep. The creating. Doing this full time would bring me all of the joy.
The second would include traveling. I don’t know the exact job. But it would include someone paying me to travel to exotic locations and eating delicious food.
Both of these would bring me joy. And isn’t that what a dream job is supposed to be - something that is full of joy. Something that isn’t really a job?
Perhaps I could travel and plan parties. The best of both worlds.
03 March 2013
Inspiration from the Mouths of Others.
I've come across these two quotes the past couple of days.
They both really spoke to me.
So I'm sharing them with you - whomever you are.
You should leave a comment and let me know who you are/where you're visiting from.
I hope that you find inspiration in your life this week.
And then there's this one...I don't know if it has an author. If the internet proves to be correct - the author is unknown.
They both really spoke to me.
So I'm sharing them with you - whomever you are.
You should leave a comment and let me know who you are/where you're visiting from.
I hope that you find inspiration in your life this week.
“When you come to the edge of all the light you
know,and are about to step off into the
darkness of the unknown,
FAITH is knowing one
FAITH is knowing one
of two things will happen:
There will be something solid to stand on
or you will be taught how to fly.”
There will be something solid to stand on
or you will be taught how to fly.”
This quote is either by Barbara J Winter or Patrick Overton.
And then there's this one...I don't know if it has an author. If the internet proves to be correct - the author is unknown.
An arrow can only be shot by
pulling it backwards. So when life
is dragging you back with
difficulties, it means that it's
going to launch you into
something great.
So just focus, and keep aiming.
Hardest Thing I've Ever Experienced (Question #6)
Loss.
Finding out someone I loved had passed away via FB is probably the hardest thing I’ve endured so far.
His name was Joseph David Manhardt.
I met him while I lived in Buffalo, NY. I was working at a Church as an Americorps VISTA. He was there working as an outside contractor helping them to replace their heating system.
I pursued him like it was my job. We hit it off. We hung out. We dated. We went on a cruise.
We stopped dating.
But we remained close friends. I was still in love with him when I left Buffalo.
I cried halfway through my trip home - talking to him on the phone.
Why hadn't I fought for him? Or him me?
Love can be so cruel.
We talked on the phone often.
He was planning on visiting me in Portland February of 2011.
But it never happened.
December of 2010 I saw a post on his FB page. One that lead me to do an internet search and send a message to his sister in law asking what had happened.
Joe passed away in his sleep due to heart failure. He was young. Not even 35 at that point.
It was unexpected. It was a shock to my very being.
My soul and heart would never be the same.
Someday I’ll make the trek back to Buffalo so that I can visit his grave and have full closure.
I still miss him to this day.
Finding out someone I loved had passed away via FB is probably the hardest thing I’ve endured so far.
His name was Joseph David Manhardt.
I met him while I lived in Buffalo, NY. I was working at a Church as an Americorps VISTA. He was there working as an outside contractor helping them to replace their heating system.
I pursued him like it was my job. We hit it off. We hung out. We dated. We went on a cruise.
We stopped dating.
But we remained close friends. I was still in love with him when I left Buffalo.
I cried halfway through my trip home - talking to him on the phone.
Why hadn't I fought for him? Or him me?
Love can be so cruel.
We talked on the phone often.
He was planning on visiting me in Portland February of 2011.
But it never happened.
December of 2010 I saw a post on his FB page. One that lead me to do an internet search and send a message to his sister in law asking what had happened.
Joe passed away in his sleep due to heart failure. He was young. Not even 35 at that point.
It was unexpected. It was a shock to my very being.
My soul and heart would never be the same.
Someday I’ll make the trek back to Buffalo so that I can visit his grave and have full closure.
I still miss him to this day.
Joseph David Manhardt
August 24, 1976 - December 6, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)