The Trouble With Men.

I'd like to think that I'm a pretty easy going individual.

One who knows how to play it cool and not be overly swoon-like.

One who, while I might be smitten, can hold a regular ol' conversation with you.  

Today- I found that this is apparently not true.  

But the reaction from the individual as well as myself were both negative.  

Or rather - I perceived their reaction to be negative.  

Also - being set up on a blind date - is kind of tragic.

Especially when the other party decides that it feels 'forced' and 

decides they'd rather meet in a group setting.  

I sent a nice "I understand" reply.

But you know what? I don't.  Perhaps it's because if anything - I didn't view it as a date.  

I looked at it as an opportunity to meet a person outside of my small circle of people.  

Exhausting.  

No really.  

I've said I'm going to give up.  

Raise my little white flag.  Resign to living a life alone.  

I can't even say I feel like I've been trying.  

Because honestly, I haven't been.  

I haven't been overly flirty.

I haven't been chasing.  

Don't they say love comes to those who wait? 

Perhaps I'm not the best at waiting.  

But I've come to the conclusion that I might as well just expect to be single for always.

Confessions

Dear ________________
You are fantastic and I'd like to get to know you more.

Dear _______________
I am your half sister.  We've met each other once that I'm aware of.  You're at least 4 years older than me.
We share the same paternal DNA, but that's all.  I'd like to find you.  Find out more about you.

Dear _____________
I think your actions are so very negative.
I used to look up to you, admire you.
But right now, I find that I want as little of you in my life as possible.

Dear _____________
I'm glad that we've become better friends.  I look forward to more of you in my life.

Dear Body
Stop being sick

I've missed 2 days of work this week.
2!

I still can't actually breath through my nose.
I was supposed to work a derby tournament this weekend - but I feel that there's no way I would be a successful NSO let alone crew head.
So instead, I will stay home this weekend.  And hopefully get better.

I can't remember the last time a cold kicked my butt like this.

Sick Again

I spent the weekend at The Hangar.

Ok...I didn't sleep there. But I might as well have.
Friday nigh - Guns N Rollers vs Cherry Cities 8 Wheel Assassins.
Saturday Morning - Open Scrimmage
Saturday Evening - Heartless Heathers vs High Rollers
Saturday Nigh - After Party
Sunday Afternoon - Rosebuds Exhibition Bout.

All of the derby was amazing.
Rose City is so awe inspiring.

All of the officiating was amazing as well.
I am ever grateful for my crew.  Their dedication - well, we couldn't do it without any of them.

But I clearly ran myself a little too thin.
I could feel it coming on towards the middle of the Sunday bout.
I got home and let myself just be and there it was.
Eff you cold.
Double Eff you derby cold.

I had to go to the grocery store - I didn't purchase anything of real consequence.
I would call in tomorrow but my teacher is out.
And I won't be there on Friday.

It's going to be a long week.

Oh - weight check in.
I'm down 12.4 lbs.
I've been doing a really bad job of tracking/eating well.
I need a spark again.  I'm not sure why I'm slacking.

Cher, where are you to slap me across the face and exclaim "Snap Out Of It"

Reclaiming The Day Off

My weekend was not productive.
In the least.

So today - President's Day - I have strived to get some of the stuff that needed doing done.

Laundry - check.
Well, except for one load.  I only had enough quarters to do 3 loads.
I even put it all away.  Including the stuff from last weeks 2 loads.
I don't know why I'm horrible at putting laundry away.

Change my Sheets - check.
They weren't the one's that came out of the dryer.
Instead I went with the fleece ones. They are so very comfy and cozy.

Grocery Shop - check.
I'm cooking for the week today.

I made an egg dish for lunch.
It includes 3 eggs plus 3 egg whites poured over garlic potato wedges, asparagus, mushroom, and green onions. I baked it in the oven and will cut it into 4 sections.  It's 2.5 points + for that part of it.
I'll eat it with a 1/2 slice of thin bread (1.5 points +) and 1/2 a wedge of laughing cow cheese (.5 points +)
There will also be a piece of fruit in there and pineapple paradise hot dog (3 points +).
Lunch will be a total of 8 points +

Dinner is in the crock pot.
I have not utilized my crock pot at all.
Black Beans, green chilies, jalapeno salsa, and chicken.
It'll be eaten in a tortilla with cheese (2 points + each)
Dinner will be a total of 10 points +

My dinner was inspired by this recipe, which I found at Skinnytaste.com
http://www.skinnytaste.com/2012/12/slow-cooker-chicken-black-bean-tacos.html#more

My hot dogs are these - and are the most delicious
http://www.aidells.com/product/14025

The day is being accompanied with my old friend Alias.
I own the series - but it's on Netflix streaming. So I've got it on in the background.

I didn't accomplish as much as I wanted - but I did get some things done.
And that's a plus.

Also - I'm really looking forward to my lunch and dinner this week.

The Thing I Forgot

I've managed to fit into the one size of jeans that I kept from the last time I lost weight.

A size smaller than what I'd been squeezing myself into (well, as of late, I've been having to wear a belt to keep them up).

Small Joys.

What I worry about is the having to go shopping for new bras/pants.
Yes, I'll thrift store shop for pants.
No, I will NOT thrift store shop for bras.
I also don't tend to buy shirts at thrift stores. I think it's because I know how much I sweat and I don't trust others.

Typical Me

It's so typical of me to start blogging at a very consistent rate - then to just fall of the planet.
I don't know why.
I have so much to say!

First off the weight loss journey.
I've managed to loose a total of 12 pounds.
I reached my 5% goal.

This is very exciting as I had a pretty rough week. Valentine's week brought out the fat girl monster.
She wanted to eat all of the things.  It was pretty bad.  It also didn't help that one of the teachers at the school I work out did a bake sale (For the staff - all of the money went to a local charity).  She's an amazing baker and I just couldn't resist.

At some point on Wednesday I was able to get over the weird "stuff my face" mode.
Thursday, my usual weigh in day, however I chose to go to water aerobics and skating rather than weigh in.  Not because I didn't want to weigh in, but because I felt I needed to get more movement in.
I weighed in on Friday instead.

So if you ask how my Valentine's day went: it was just another day at work followed by deep water aerobics and skating.

I don't think the concept of Valentine's day made me sad.  I've never been a huge fan of the day.  I do miss being in a relationship however.  And I find more and more that all my female friends and many of my male friends are in agreement that I'm pretty awesome - yet they have nobody they can think of that is worthy enough to date me.  Meaning they all have too high of an opinion of me.  Talking with a friend today, she just assumed that I was fighting off the guys because I wanted to be single.
If only.

Seriously - fun girl looking for a great guy.  

Other things.

Last night was the 8th Annual Anti Valentine's Day Party put on by The Heartless Heather's.  

As usual it was all of the fun.  I'm thinking that next year will be the year I do the wheel of misfortune.  

Assuming they have it.  I don't know that I'll ever have the balls to enter the spanking booth.  

Work.

One of my co-workers has really brought out my appreciation for the way I was raised.  My mother was always on me about not doing things half assed.  Don't get me wrong, to this day, there are plenty of things I only put in 75% of the effort.  But not at work.  

He drives me crazy.  Breaks not only mean that I get to an extra day or two away from the kids but also from him.  At first I felt bad about this....but now I don't.  It's exhausting.  I wish that at the beginning of the year I'd started writing down all of the mind blowing things that have happened.

I feel like there's more.
I know there is.
But this will have to do for now.

Sick and Emotional

I took a sick day.

I hate not being able to breath.
I hate coughing up crap.

I hate staying home and doing nothing.

I'm also very behind with the blogging.

I am worried about my weigh in.
I haven't gotten in the exercise.
I missed water aerobics tonight and I did not get in any movement yesterday.
Blergh.

In other news I cried today.
The last time I cried full on tears was years ago.
YEARS.

It's not that I'm not emotional.
I've just never been a big crier.

Today, I was surprised that I cried.
And I was surprised that the person I was on the phone with was the one who brought out the tears.

Will attempt to get back to my regular routine of Blogging this weekend.