If only we could all be so awesome

"This is pretty much as badass as imaginable--

"The Gulabi gang (from Hindi gulabi, "pink", transln. "pink gang") is a group of women vigilantes and activists originally from Banda in Bundelkhand district, Uttar Pradesh, India, but reported to be active across North India as of 2010. It is named after the pink saris worn by its members.

The gang was founded in 2006 by Sampat Pal Devi, a mother of five and former government health worker (and a former child bride), as a response to widespread domestic abuse and other violence against women. Gulabis visit abusive husbands and beat them up with laathis (bamboo sticks) unless they stop abusing their wives. In 2008, they stormed an electricity office in Banda district and forced officials to turn back the power they had cut in order to extract bribes. They have also stopped child marriages and protested dowry and female illiteracy."

(I stole this from FB, I hope it is all true)

Smoothie Harmony

Since the beginning of the school year (august-ish) I've been making myself a smoothie for breakfast.  I've calculated the points but as I was not really doing weight watchers at that point I didn't add them all together or pay much attention.  I make them in a large mason jar, which my blender blade/base will screw onto.  It's really very convenient because after smoothie is made (I try to make them in the evening so everything can meld together) I screw on the mason jar lid and I'm ready to go.

My smoothie this morning was 11 points+. My smoothie yesterday was 12 points+
I took away the peanut butter and used the whole serving of whey protein (I had only been using half).
Part of it is the 3 point yogurt.  I have a ton of yogurt that I need to use.  So for now, high point value yogurt!
Also - the pureed sweet potato. That alone is 2 points+.  Once I use it all up I'll switch over to pumpkin which has 0 points+

So what my morning smoothie will look like:

Non-Dairy milk (right now it's coconut milk, but when I shopped at TJ's yesterday, they had none - so I picked up almond milk) = 1-2 points +
Yogurt (4-6 oz) = 2-3 points+
Pumpkin = 0 points+
Banana/Apple = 0 points+
Frozen Fruit = 0 points+
Spinach/Kale/Chard = 0 points+   (this is a bag mix from TJ's)
Ground Flax Meal = 2 points+  (Bob's Red Mill)
Whey/Soy Protein = 2 points + (Whey Protein is Bob's Red Mill.  The Soy Protein I purchased at TJ's and will start using when the Whey Protein is gone)

If I add together the highest point values plus all others that takes me down to a 9 points+ smoothie with a ton of protein (7 points+ if I can use only 4 oz of my liquid and find a 2 point+ yogurt)
I go for a lot of protein because I drink my breakfast between 7:30 and 7:45 and don't get lunch until 12:30/12:45.  I work with busy special needs middle schoolers and I have to be able to last with what I have for breakfast.

My WW meeting took me down to 30 Daily Points from 31.  That's only one point - but that's less things I can eat that have a point value.  So if I can get my smoothie down in points but keep it filling - I'm on the right track.  Plus, it gets me 2 servings of veggies and 2.5 servings of fruit.

I use a scale to weigh everything.  It's probably the best purchase I've made to help me with my weight loss journey.  It's nothing fancy.  It is electronic and will zero out, which is handy dandy.  I even use it when I'm eating crackers.  I don't trust the number of crackers per serving that they tell you - instead I weigh out the gram amount.  Sometimes you get less, sometimes you get more.  Either way - it's been so very amazingly helpful, especially in smoothie making.

Finding Food

In the past 2 days I have managed to discover a few rather tasty low point plus items.
One of them being laughing cow's cinnamon cream cheese wedges.  Spread on a bagel thin and add some thinly sliced apple and you  have a delicious 3 pts + snack/part of a meal.

Today for lunch I had some hominy mixed with tomato soup.  I added in 1/2 of a bagel thin for some whole wheat.  5pts +

Next step is to adjust my morning smoothie.  Right now it's sitting at a pretty high points plus value.  I purchased a bag of kale/chard/spinach mix and plan on pureeing it and pouring that into an ice cube tray.  I know that otherwise I won't get it all used.  I also plan on cutting out the peanut butter.  I will just use the whole serving of the whey/soy protein.  The addition of apples will also help up the fiber/filling content.
Adventure time in creating yummy things that will help me stay full, loose weight, and get in plenty o healthy things.

Beyond that I need to focus on upping my daily water intake.  I'm really bad about drinking as much as I should.  I have a tiny bladder and hate having to use the restroom all of the time.
_________________________________________________________________________________

Weighed in this evening.  Managed to loose 2lbs.  Two pounds less of me in this world.
Pretty exciting considering I didn't think I had done that well.

It's not about willpower.
It's about control.
I am in control of my life.

2013

It's a new year!

I don't make resolutions typically - but I do try and make goals.
Have I figured them out yet? Nope.
I do know that my number one goal this year will be improving me.
My lifestyle.
My weight.
The choices I make.
All of them need to have the end product of making a better me.
Perhaps that is a good enough start.

The first good choice I made was to ring in the New Year with some rather wonderful people.  While this year lacked a friend bursting through the door to join the countdown with 5 seconds left or hot jamz, it was delightful none the less.  There was a lot of laughter and joy.  I tried drinking vinegar for the first time (mixed with a shot of vodka and some club soda - it was pretty tasty).  I shared delicious food.  And I laughed while a large group of us played cards against humanity.

Here is to 2013.
I know that it's going to be a great year because I will make it so.
And I will do my best to overcome the inevitable bumps in the road, not alone, but by seeking out the companionship and help of my friends.

Let the Weight Loss Commence

Sooooo....I'm going to attempt the Weight Watchers thing again.
I weighed in on Friday.
Saturday I tracked until the end of the day.
Today I was with a friend and there were no good food choices to be made.
I'm off to a rocky start.

My goal: To write about the journey. Hopefully it'll keep me in check.
We shall see how that goes.  I'm not the best at remembering to log on here and write.

Yesterday for the first time ever I made a stuffed bell pepper.
I cut a yellow pepper in half added some fake meat (it's a ground beef replacement), 1/2 of a wedge of laughing cow cheese and an egg.  I placed it in the toaster oven and let it do its thing.
It was pretty delicious.  Next time (there will be a next time) I will add some seasoning to the inside of the bell pepper itself and maybe add some sort of carb to give it a little more umph.  Perhaps brown rice or quinoa. As a side I cooked up some broccoli and mixed it with the remaining 1/2 wedge of cheese.

I just need to cut down on my boredom eating, get active again, and track.
Tracking is the hardest part for me.  I just forget to do it, or get bored with it.

Fingers crossed. I lost 35 pounds last time.  I need to do that plus some.  I need to stop thinking that this time round will be harder than the last.

I CAN DO THIS!

Indifference

I've been volunteering with ____________ for 2 yrs now.

2 yrs of my life.

This last year has been challenging.
I took on a role that I probably didn't really want in the first place

I get a text message from someone who hasn't been around all that often (he has awesome reasons....work..whatever).
He has ideas.
Ways he wants to do things.

He'll be there on Wednesday night to check in.

I DON'T EFFIN CARE.

It took everything not to text back "blah, blah, blah"

Yes, you've been involved for longer.

But honestly - you don't hold our best interests any longer.

Seeing the Pretty for the First Time.

I turned 30 this past July.

I've had many years to look at myself in the mirror.  To scrutinize my looks.  To judge my weight.
Many years to develop a poor self image.

I've been called names.
JG drop out was my favorite.  The brilliant high school boy who called me this actually meant it as Jenny Craig drop out.  When I pointed out to him that 'Craig' starts with C and not G he stopped calling me the name.  Oh High School boys.

There have been more names than that.  Names that helped me to build a wall.
Names and looks that have helped me to develop a negative self image.

It's the story of the overweight girl.
Some become super funny (not me). Most know how to deflect with sarcasm (me, me, that's me!).
All of us have some sort of wall built up.  We know what it is to go shopping with our skinny best friend - because that's what happens - and not actually purchase anything because we go into the skinny stores with her and don't want to drag her into our part of the store.

I've spent years faking that I feel ok with myself.
Trying to impress myself.  Trying to impress others.

I've lost weight.
I've gained it back.

I've accepted that I am a big girl.  Though, I'll work at maintaining my weight/loosing some of what I've gained back because I admit I felt better when I had lost those 30 pounds.

I've never thought that I was pretty.  Not because I was never told.  My mother has always told me how pretty/beautiful I am.  I've had friends express it.  I've had boyfriends say it.  But in my heart, I hadn't truly believed it.
This is a sad thing to admit.

The other day I caught a glimpse of my reflection in my car window.  It was my eyes that I really looked at.
And for the first time in my 30 years on this earth I actually thought: I am pretty.

I hope that I can continue to feel this.
To recognize this.

I hope that it doesn't take another 30 years for me to realize that I am beautiful.