Oh Blogging World - sometimes I write all of the things all of the times.
Other times - ok, most of the time - I have to sit myself down and remember that I started this thing and it's up to me to continue it.
There's so much swirling around in my head right now.
First: Why am I feeling a sense of sadness right now?
I was skating at Oaks on Sunday night and a wash of sadness came over me midway through the evening.
I don't know what brought it on and I have yet to figure out what it's about. It's not a strong sense of sadness. Just a sort of "meh" feeling. I usually have cycles of being slightly depressed. But this doesn't feel the same.
Second: Why am I already failing with the weight loss?
I've already hit a speed bump in my weight loss journey. I can feel myself slipping back into old habits.
I have yet to break my sweet tooth. I just can't seem to get over that hurdle. I don't eat as much bread. So that's a good thing. I'm also not getting in enough exercise. I get home and sit my ass down on the couch. It's such a horrible habit. I realized that what I need to do is have my walking shoes with me and drive over to the track by the high school and just walk for 30 min to an hour after work depending on what day it is. I've been good with going skating on Sun/Thurs and water aerobics on Tues. But I need to up it. I need to do weights. I need to remember I'm doing this because I don't want the same health issues as my mom.
I am participating in the Retro Run - and I'm pretty excited!
http://www.theretrorun5k.com/#!portland/c1450
Third: Our society scares me
The rape. The murder. The inability to see past our own noses.
I think Henry Rollins says everything that I could ever want to say. This man. I need to learn more about him. One of my college suite-mates loved him (still does to this day actually), and I never fully understood her obsession. The more I learn about him, the more I want to spend a day just listening to him talk things through. Please click on and read the link (so long as it works, I had trouble with his website earlier this evening).
http://henryrollins.com/dispatch/detail/dispatch_03-17-12_los_angeles/
Fourth: How can I better cultivate the friendships I have/expand my network?
My community is small here in Portland. Well, ok not small. It's roller derby.
So I guess it's just not diverse. When I hosted my 30th birthday - all the people were roller derby. There were no work people or folks from other circles. I'm not bothered by this. I just realize that I need to stretch myself and get out and do other things.
I'm not sure where to start on the getting involved elsewhere.
But I do want to host at least these two parties this year: White Trash Bunco and a Coloring Party.
The Coloring Party idea belongs to my friend and better blogger Aurora.
She's seriously been inspiring me since college (and is the same one who has loved Henry Rollins all these years)
http://www.auroralady.com/have-your-own-coloring-book-party/
There's a bit more - but this is a pretty long post already.
19 March 2013
15 March 2013
Weight Gain
I finally went to a meeting and didn't loose weight.
I really wasn't surprised.
Buuuut - I can't complain.
It was a mere .4 gain.
The leader stated: That's the difference between a morning and night weigh in.
Which is what had happened.
Really - I wasn't surprised I hadn't lost.
It wasn't the best of weeks. Poor food choices. Lack of exercise.
So I'd say this week I'll get into shape. Buuuuttt...Aunt Irma is visiting.
And all I want to do is eat all of the cheez-it's I can. Le Sigh.
(and I just ate far too many)
Tomorrow back to it.
I really wasn't surprised.
Buuuut - I can't complain.
It was a mere .4 gain.
The leader stated: That's the difference between a morning and night weigh in.
Which is what had happened.
Really - I wasn't surprised I hadn't lost.
It wasn't the best of weeks. Poor food choices. Lack of exercise.
So I'd say this week I'll get into shape. Buuuuttt...Aunt Irma is visiting.
And all I want to do is eat all of the cheez-it's I can. Le Sigh.
(and I just ate far too many)
Tomorrow back to it.
08 March 2013
Youtube Inspiration
Reminder: Be Yourself. Stand Up and Join In.
The first video is about being a leader as well as a follower.
The second video is really about not giving a damn care about others and just dancing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hO8MwBZl-Vc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=qfQng2kjpxI
The first video is about being a leader as well as a follower.
The second video is really about not giving a damn care about others and just dancing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hO8MwBZl-Vc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=qfQng2kjpxI
Weight Loss Check in Week "9"
Since the 3 day bout weekend in February I have not been tracking.
I'm not sure why. I just haven't done it. There have been a few days here and there that I've written some stuff down. But for some reason I let myself "fall off the wagon"
I must have been sort of aware of what I was eating however. And, other than not getting in any exercise when I was sick I have gone to water aerobics and skating.
My last weigh in was 2/21.
That was 2 weeks ago.
Ok - technically 15 days ago.
I should be on week 10 - back on track now. And that's what matters.
I chose to not go to my meeting last night. The sun was shining. I wanted one last day of being off the wagon. Truffle fries and a steamed bbq pork hum bao for dinner. Thank you Jade Teahouse (if you've never eaten there - it's mega delicious and really affordable - http://www.jadeportland.com/).
I ate outside. Enjoyed my meal while two dogs stared at me, asking me with their eyes to throw them a taste of deliciousness. I did not oblige.
Instead I weighed in this morning. For Friday at 9:30 am - the meeting was packed! I stepped up to the scale thinking that I had probably gained at least a little bit of the weight back. Or at least stayed somewhere around the same.
I was shocked to see the results. A loss of 3.4 pounds. What? That's crazy.
I am aware that I usually weigh in at night, after I've eaten all day and that this means things could be a little skewed. But I'll take it!
It also means that I've now lost a grand total of 15.8 pounds and I have a new daily point target (DPT) of 28.
I know that the lower the DPT, the better. But it's always bitter sweet - going down a point. Less food I get to consume that isn't zero point fruit or veggies. I know. Fruits and Veggies are better for me. But I am still having trouble managing my sweet tooth. Not sure why it's so much harder this time than the last.
I've got a 4 day weekend (3 days after today). I need to do some self reflection and re-work my daily eating plan. I also need to figure out a work out plan. This might mean waking up earlier and that really doesn't excite me. But, I'm definitely not getting in enough exercise.
I'm not sure why. I just haven't done it. There have been a few days here and there that I've written some stuff down. But for some reason I let myself "fall off the wagon"
I must have been sort of aware of what I was eating however. And, other than not getting in any exercise when I was sick I have gone to water aerobics and skating.
My last weigh in was 2/21.
That was 2 weeks ago.
Ok - technically 15 days ago.
I should be on week 10 - back on track now. And that's what matters.
I chose to not go to my meeting last night. The sun was shining. I wanted one last day of being off the wagon. Truffle fries and a steamed bbq pork hum bao for dinner. Thank you Jade Teahouse (if you've never eaten there - it's mega delicious and really affordable - http://www.jadeportland.com/).
I ate outside. Enjoyed my meal while two dogs stared at me, asking me with their eyes to throw them a taste of deliciousness. I did not oblige.
Instead I weighed in this morning. For Friday at 9:30 am - the meeting was packed! I stepped up to the scale thinking that I had probably gained at least a little bit of the weight back. Or at least stayed somewhere around the same.
I was shocked to see the results. A loss of 3.4 pounds. What? That's crazy.
I am aware that I usually weigh in at night, after I've eaten all day and that this means things could be a little skewed. But I'll take it!
It also means that I've now lost a grand total of 15.8 pounds and I have a new daily point target (DPT) of 28.
I know that the lower the DPT, the better. But it's always bitter sweet - going down a point. Less food I get to consume that isn't zero point fruit or veggies. I know. Fruits and Veggies are better for me. But I am still having trouble managing my sweet tooth. Not sure why it's so much harder this time than the last.
I've got a 4 day weekend (3 days after today). I need to do some self reflection and re-work my daily eating plan. I also need to figure out a work out plan. This might mean waking up earlier and that really doesn't excite me. But, I'm definitely not getting in enough exercise.
04 March 2013
What Is Your Dream Job and Why. (Question #7)
There are 2 different ideal jobs that come to mind.
I’d love either of them.
The first being a party planner. The type where I could use all of my creative ideas. Paper and food. I love the idea of all the socialness. The prep. The creating. Doing this full time would bring me all of the joy.
The second would include traveling. I don’t know the exact job. But it would include someone paying me to travel to exotic locations and eating delicious food.
Both of these would bring me joy. And isn’t that what a dream job is supposed to be - something that is full of joy. Something that isn’t really a job?
Perhaps I could travel and plan parties. The best of both worlds.
I’d love either of them.
The first being a party planner. The type where I could use all of my creative ideas. Paper and food. I love the idea of all the socialness. The prep. The creating. Doing this full time would bring me all of the joy.
The second would include traveling. I don’t know the exact job. But it would include someone paying me to travel to exotic locations and eating delicious food.
Both of these would bring me joy. And isn’t that what a dream job is supposed to be - something that is full of joy. Something that isn’t really a job?
Perhaps I could travel and plan parties. The best of both worlds.
03 March 2013
Inspiration from the Mouths of Others.
I've come across these two quotes the past couple of days.
They both really spoke to me.
So I'm sharing them with you - whomever you are.
You should leave a comment and let me know who you are/where you're visiting from.
I hope that you find inspiration in your life this week.
And then there's this one...I don't know if it has an author. If the internet proves to be correct - the author is unknown.
They both really spoke to me.
So I'm sharing them with you - whomever you are.
You should leave a comment and let me know who you are/where you're visiting from.
I hope that you find inspiration in your life this week.
“When you come to the edge of all the light you
know,and are about to step off into the
darkness of the unknown,
FAITH is knowing one
FAITH is knowing one
of two things will happen:
There will be something solid to stand on
or you will be taught how to fly.”
There will be something solid to stand on
or you will be taught how to fly.”
This quote is either by Barbara J Winter or Patrick Overton.
And then there's this one...I don't know if it has an author. If the internet proves to be correct - the author is unknown.
An arrow can only be shot by
pulling it backwards. So when life
is dragging you back with
difficulties, it means that it's
going to launch you into
something great.
So just focus, and keep aiming.
Hardest Thing I've Ever Experienced (Question #6)
Loss.
Finding out someone I loved had passed away via FB is probably the hardest thing I’ve endured so far.
His name was Joseph David Manhardt.
I met him while I lived in Buffalo, NY. I was working at a Church as an Americorps VISTA. He was there working as an outside contractor helping them to replace their heating system.
I pursued him like it was my job. We hit it off. We hung out. We dated. We went on a cruise.
We stopped dating.
But we remained close friends. I was still in love with him when I left Buffalo.
I cried halfway through my trip home - talking to him on the phone.
Why hadn't I fought for him? Or him me?
Love can be so cruel.
We talked on the phone often.
He was planning on visiting me in Portland February of 2011.
But it never happened.
December of 2010 I saw a post on his FB page. One that lead me to do an internet search and send a message to his sister in law asking what had happened.
Joe passed away in his sleep due to heart failure. He was young. Not even 35 at that point.
It was unexpected. It was a shock to my very being.
My soul and heart would never be the same.
Someday I’ll make the trek back to Buffalo so that I can visit his grave and have full closure.
I still miss him to this day.
Finding out someone I loved had passed away via FB is probably the hardest thing I’ve endured so far.
His name was Joseph David Manhardt.
I met him while I lived in Buffalo, NY. I was working at a Church as an Americorps VISTA. He was there working as an outside contractor helping them to replace their heating system.
I pursued him like it was my job. We hit it off. We hung out. We dated. We went on a cruise.
We stopped dating.
But we remained close friends. I was still in love with him when I left Buffalo.
I cried halfway through my trip home - talking to him on the phone.
Why hadn't I fought for him? Or him me?
Love can be so cruel.
We talked on the phone often.
He was planning on visiting me in Portland February of 2011.
But it never happened.
December of 2010 I saw a post on his FB page. One that lead me to do an internet search and send a message to his sister in law asking what had happened.
Joe passed away in his sleep due to heart failure. He was young. Not even 35 at that point.
It was unexpected. It was a shock to my very being.
My soul and heart would never be the same.
Someday I’ll make the trek back to Buffalo so that I can visit his grave and have full closure.
I still miss him to this day.
Joseph David Manhardt
August 24, 1976 - December 6, 2010
The 5 Things That Make Me Most Happy Right Now (Question #5)
5. The freedom to express myself
4. My wonderful friends
3. Roller Derby and the amazing community that I’ve found through it.
2. My mom - the love and support she gives me - always.
1. The knowledge that tomorrow is a new day and I get to start fresh.
5- I get to use this blog, facebook, my voice to express myself and my feelings. I think that's pretty rad. And in the process I get a better knowledge of who I am. Even more rad.
4 - The people who have entered my life since I moved to Portland are all amazingly wonderful. I am thankful for every interaction I have with them.
3 - I'm not sure what I would be doing with my life if I didn't have derby. And I certainly wouldn't have all the amazing friends if I hadn't gotten myself involved in a big ass league.
2 - My mom - she's the most supportive and loving and I never tell her often enough that I love her. Nor do I call her or write her often enough. Must make better connections with her.
1 - No really - deep breath. New Day. I am always thankful to wake up and face whatever lies ahead of me.
4. My wonderful friends
3. Roller Derby and the amazing community that I’ve found through it.
2. My mom - the love and support she gives me - always.
1. The knowledge that tomorrow is a new day and I get to start fresh.
5- I get to use this blog, facebook, my voice to express myself and my feelings. I think that's pretty rad. And in the process I get a better knowledge of who I am. Even more rad.
From this website:http://dianae.deviantart.com/art/Be-Yourself-176266688#
4 - The people who have entered my life since I moved to Portland are all amazingly wonderful. I am thankful for every interaction I have with them.
Epic Cartoon II By Keary Ortiz
3 - I'm not sure what I would be doing with my life if I didn't have derby. And I certainly wouldn't have all the amazing friends if I hadn't gotten myself involved in a big ass league.
2 - My mom - she's the most supportive and loving and I never tell her often enough that I love her. Nor do I call her or write her often enough. Must make better connections with her.
1 - No really - deep breath. New Day. I am always thankful to wake up and face whatever lies ahead of me.
02 March 2013
10 Things I Would Tell My 16 Year-Old Self (Question #4)
1. Save your money.
2. Life is full of surprises - embrace them all.
3. Travel. Use that saved money and Travel.
4. Love the people who come into your life and learn what you can from them.
5. Never stop believing in yourself.
6. Don’t settle for that guy will meet in 2011.
7. You won’t ever have all the answers - and that’s ok.
8. Hug your mom more.
9. Dance more.
10. Don’t be afraid to make bad choices. But own that they are yours and learn what you can from them.
2. Life is full of surprises - embrace them all.
3. Travel. Use that saved money and Travel.
4. Love the people who come into your life and learn what you can from them.
5. Never stop believing in yourself.
6. Don’t settle for that guy will meet in 2011.
7. You won’t ever have all the answers - and that’s ok.
8. Hug your mom more.
9. Dance more.
10. Don’t be afraid to make bad choices. But own that they are yours and learn what you can from them.
All Stars
Instead of being at Wild West Showdown as a crew head NSO I am at home.
I decided that there was no way that my body would have held up for the weekend. Still being slightly sick and all. After seeing how late things ran last night (past midnight), I am glad for the decision I made! I've been exhausted by 9:30/10. No way I would have made 3 days of working several bouts.
So last night I decided to go to the RCR All Star Meet and Greet. Which, I did complain that nobody was meeting or greeting me. They were all mingling with each other. Though - I do know pretty much all of them.
It was pointed out there was a photo booth. Nothing like a photo booth (with a self taking picture button) to liven things up!
I decided that there was no way that my body would have held up for the weekend. Still being slightly sick and all. After seeing how late things ran last night (past midnight), I am glad for the decision I made! I've been exhausted by 9:30/10. No way I would have made 3 days of working several bouts.
So last night I decided to go to the RCR All Star Meet and Greet. Which, I did complain that nobody was meeting or greeting me. They were all mingling with each other. Though - I do know pretty much all of them.
It was pointed out there was a photo booth. Nothing like a photo booth (with a self taking picture button) to liven things up!
Panda, Scylla, and Hussy
All Star Photo Bomb. Listing their numbers will be easier than names (how NSO of me):
1889, 601, 47, 26, 50, 245, 81, 73, 423, 210, 77, 503, 808, 17h, 49
It's up to you to figure out who is who.
And this precious picture. I feel the strong urge to print and frame this.
I'm so glad to be a part of this league and all the lovely ladies who make it.
28 February 2013
The Trouble With Men.
I'd like to think that I'm a pretty easy going individual.
I sent a nice "I understand" reply.
One who knows how to play it cool and not be overly swoon-like.
One who, while I might be smitten, can hold a regular ol' conversation with you.
Today- I found that this is apparently not true.
But the reaction from the individual as well as myself were both negative.
Or rather - I perceived their reaction to be negative.
Also - being set up on a blind date - is kind of tragic.
Especially when the other party decides that it feels 'forced' and
decides they'd rather meet in a group setting.
I sent a nice "I understand" reply.
But you know what? I don't. Perhaps it's because if anything - I didn't view it as a date.
I looked at it as an opportunity to meet a person outside of my small circle of people.
Exhausting.
No really.
I've said I'm going to give up.
Raise my little white flag. Resign to living a life alone.
I can't even say I feel like I've been trying.
Because honestly, I haven't been.
I haven't been overly flirty.
I haven't been chasing.
Don't they say love comes to those who wait?
Perhaps I'm not the best at waiting.
But I've come to the conclusion that I might as well just expect to be single for always.
27 February 2013
Confessions
Dear ________________
You are fantastic and I'd like to get to know you more.
Dear _______________
I am your half sister. We've met each other once that I'm aware of. You're at least 4 years older than me.
We share the same paternal DNA, but that's all. I'd like to find you. Find out more about you.
Dear _____________
I think your actions are so very negative.
I used to look up to you, admire you.
But right now, I find that I want as little of you in my life as possible.
Dear _____________
I'm glad that we've become better friends. I look forward to more of you in my life.
Dear Body
Stop being sick
I've missed 2 days of work this week.
2!
I still can't actually breath through my nose.
I was supposed to work a derby tournament this weekend - but I feel that there's no way I would be a successful NSO let alone crew head.
So instead, I will stay home this weekend. And hopefully get better.
I can't remember the last time a cold kicked my butt like this.
You are fantastic and I'd like to get to know you more.
Dear _______________
I am your half sister. We've met each other once that I'm aware of. You're at least 4 years older than me.
We share the same paternal DNA, but that's all. I'd like to find you. Find out more about you.
Dear _____________
I think your actions are so very negative.
I used to look up to you, admire you.
But right now, I find that I want as little of you in my life as possible.
Dear _____________
I'm glad that we've become better friends. I look forward to more of you in my life.
Dear Body
Stop being sick
I've missed 2 days of work this week.
2!
I still can't actually breath through my nose.
I was supposed to work a derby tournament this weekend - but I feel that there's no way I would be a successful NSO let alone crew head.
So instead, I will stay home this weekend. And hopefully get better.
I can't remember the last time a cold kicked my butt like this.
24 February 2013
Sick Again
I spent the weekend at The Hangar.
Ok...I didn't sleep there. But I might as well have.
Friday nigh - Guns N Rollers vs Cherry Cities 8 Wheel Assassins.
Saturday Morning - Open Scrimmage
Saturday Evening - Heartless Heathers vs High Rollers
Saturday Nigh - After Party
Sunday Afternoon - Rosebuds Exhibition Bout.
All of the derby was amazing.
Rose City is so awe inspiring.
All of the officiating was amazing as well.
I am ever grateful for my crew. Their dedication - well, we couldn't do it without any of them.
But I clearly ran myself a little too thin.
I could feel it coming on towards the middle of the Sunday bout.
I got home and let myself just be and there it was.
Eff you cold.
Double Eff you derby cold.
I had to go to the grocery store - I didn't purchase anything of real consequence.
I would call in tomorrow but my teacher is out.
And I won't be there on Friday.
It's going to be a long week.
Oh - weight check in.
I'm down 12.4 lbs.
I've been doing a really bad job of tracking/eating well.
I need a spark again. I'm not sure why I'm slacking.
Cher, where are you to slap me across the face and exclaim "Snap Out Of It"
Ok...I didn't sleep there. But I might as well have.
Friday nigh - Guns N Rollers vs Cherry Cities 8 Wheel Assassins.
Saturday Morning - Open Scrimmage
Saturday Evening - Heartless Heathers vs High Rollers
Saturday Nigh - After Party
Sunday Afternoon - Rosebuds Exhibition Bout.
All of the derby was amazing.
Rose City is so awe inspiring.
All of the officiating was amazing as well.
I am ever grateful for my crew. Their dedication - well, we couldn't do it without any of them.
But I clearly ran myself a little too thin.
I could feel it coming on towards the middle of the Sunday bout.
I got home and let myself just be and there it was.
Eff you cold.
Double Eff you derby cold.
I had to go to the grocery store - I didn't purchase anything of real consequence.
I would call in tomorrow but my teacher is out.
And I won't be there on Friday.
It's going to be a long week.
Oh - weight check in.
I'm down 12.4 lbs.
I've been doing a really bad job of tracking/eating well.
I need a spark again. I'm not sure why I'm slacking.
Cher, where are you to slap me across the face and exclaim "Snap Out Of It"
18 February 2013
Reclaiming The Day Off
My weekend was not productive.
In the least.
So today - President's Day - I have strived to get some of the stuff that needed doing done.
Laundry - check.
Well, except for one load. I only had enough quarters to do 3 loads.
I even put it all away. Including the stuff from last weeks 2 loads.
I don't know why I'm horrible at putting laundry away.
Change my Sheets - check.
They weren't the one's that came out of the dryer.
Instead I went with the fleece ones. They are so very comfy and cozy.
Grocery Shop - check.
I'm cooking for the week today.
I made an egg dish for lunch.
It includes 3 eggs plus 3 egg whites poured over garlic potato wedges, asparagus, mushroom, and green onions. I baked it in the oven and will cut it into 4 sections. It's 2.5 points + for that part of it.
I'll eat it with a 1/2 slice of thin bread (1.5 points +) and 1/2 a wedge of laughing cow cheese (.5 points +)
There will also be a piece of fruit in there and pineapple paradise hot dog (3 points +).
Lunch will be a total of 8 points +
Dinner is in the crock pot.
I have not utilized my crock pot at all.
Black Beans, green chilies, jalapeno salsa, and chicken.
It'll be eaten in a tortilla with cheese (2 points + each)
Dinner will be a total of 10 points +
My dinner was inspired by this recipe, which I found at Skinnytaste.com
http://www.skinnytaste.com/2012/12/slow-cooker-chicken-black-bean-tacos.html#more
My hot dogs are these - and are the most delicious
http://www.aidells.com/product/14025
The day is being accompanied with my old friend Alias.
I own the series - but it's on Netflix streaming. So I've got it on in the background.
I didn't accomplish as much as I wanted - but I did get some things done.
And that's a plus.
Also - I'm really looking forward to my lunch and dinner this week.
In the least.
So today - President's Day - I have strived to get some of the stuff that needed doing done.
Laundry - check.
Well, except for one load. I only had enough quarters to do 3 loads.
I even put it all away. Including the stuff from last weeks 2 loads.
I don't know why I'm horrible at putting laundry away.
Change my Sheets - check.
They weren't the one's that came out of the dryer.
Instead I went with the fleece ones. They are so very comfy and cozy.
Grocery Shop - check.
I'm cooking for the week today.
I made an egg dish for lunch.
It includes 3 eggs plus 3 egg whites poured over garlic potato wedges, asparagus, mushroom, and green onions. I baked it in the oven and will cut it into 4 sections. It's 2.5 points + for that part of it.
I'll eat it with a 1/2 slice of thin bread (1.5 points +) and 1/2 a wedge of laughing cow cheese (.5 points +)
There will also be a piece of fruit in there and pineapple paradise hot dog (3 points +).
Lunch will be a total of 8 points +
Dinner is in the crock pot.
I have not utilized my crock pot at all.
Black Beans, green chilies, jalapeno salsa, and chicken.
It'll be eaten in a tortilla with cheese (2 points + each)
Dinner will be a total of 10 points +
My dinner was inspired by this recipe, which I found at Skinnytaste.com
http://www.skinnytaste.com/2012/12/slow-cooker-chicken-black-bean-tacos.html#more
My hot dogs are these - and are the most delicious
http://www.aidells.com/product/14025
The day is being accompanied with my old friend Alias.
I own the series - but it's on Netflix streaming. So I've got it on in the background.
I didn't accomplish as much as I wanted - but I did get some things done.
And that's a plus.
Also - I'm really looking forward to my lunch and dinner this week.
17 February 2013
The Thing I Forgot
I've managed to fit into the one size of jeans that I kept from the last time I lost weight.
A size smaller than what I'd been squeezing myself into (well, as of late, I've been having to wear a belt to keep them up).
Small Joys.
What I worry about is the having to go shopping for new bras/pants.
Yes, I'll thrift store shop for pants.
No, I will NOT thrift store shop for bras.
I also don't tend to buy shirts at thrift stores. I think it's because I know how much I sweat and I don't trust others.
A size smaller than what I'd been squeezing myself into (well, as of late, I've been having to wear a belt to keep them up).
Small Joys.
What I worry about is the having to go shopping for new bras/pants.
Yes, I'll thrift store shop for pants.
No, I will NOT thrift store shop for bras.
I also don't tend to buy shirts at thrift stores. I think it's because I know how much I sweat and I don't trust others.
Typical Me
It's so typical of me to start blogging at a very consistent rate - then to just fall of the planet.
I don't know why.
I have so much to say!
First off the weight loss journey.
I've managed to loose a total of 12 pounds.
I reached my 5% goal.
This is very exciting as I had a pretty rough week. Valentine's week brought out the fat girl monster.
She wanted to eat all of the things. It was pretty bad. It also didn't help that one of the teachers at the school I work out did a bake sale (For the staff - all of the money went to a local charity). She's an amazing baker and I just couldn't resist.
At some point on Wednesday I was able to get over the weird "stuff my face" mode.
Thursday, my usual weigh in day, however I chose to go to water aerobics and skating rather than weigh in. Not because I didn't want to weigh in, but because I felt I needed to get more movement in.
I weighed in on Friday instead.
So if you ask how my Valentine's day went: it was just another day at work followed by deep water aerobics and skating.
I don't think the concept of Valentine's day made me sad. I've never been a huge fan of the day. I do miss being in a relationship however. And I find more and more that all my female friends and many of my male friends are in agreement that I'm pretty awesome - yet they have nobody they can think of that is worthy enough to date me. Meaning they all have too high of an opinion of me. Talking with a friend today, she just assumed that I was fighting off the guys because I wanted to be single.
If only.
I feel like there's more.
I know there is.
But this will have to do for now.
I don't know why.
I have so much to say!
First off the weight loss journey.
I've managed to loose a total of 12 pounds.
I reached my 5% goal.
This is very exciting as I had a pretty rough week. Valentine's week brought out the fat girl monster.
She wanted to eat all of the things. It was pretty bad. It also didn't help that one of the teachers at the school I work out did a bake sale (For the staff - all of the money went to a local charity). She's an amazing baker and I just couldn't resist.
At some point on Wednesday I was able to get over the weird "stuff my face" mode.
Thursday, my usual weigh in day, however I chose to go to water aerobics and skating rather than weigh in. Not because I didn't want to weigh in, but because I felt I needed to get more movement in.
I weighed in on Friday instead.
So if you ask how my Valentine's day went: it was just another day at work followed by deep water aerobics and skating.
I don't think the concept of Valentine's day made me sad. I've never been a huge fan of the day. I do miss being in a relationship however. And I find more and more that all my female friends and many of my male friends are in agreement that I'm pretty awesome - yet they have nobody they can think of that is worthy enough to date me. Meaning they all have too high of an opinion of me. Talking with a friend today, she just assumed that I was fighting off the guys because I wanted to be single.
If only.
Seriously - fun girl looking for a great guy.
Other things.
Last night was the 8th Annual Anti Valentine's Day Party put on by The Heartless Heather's.
As usual it was all of the fun. I'm thinking that next year will be the year I do the wheel of misfortune.
Assuming they have it. I don't know that I'll ever have the balls to enter the spanking booth.
Work.
One of my co-workers has really brought out my appreciation for the way I was raised. My mother was always on me about not doing things half assed. Don't get me wrong, to this day, there are plenty of things I only put in 75% of the effort. But not at work.
He drives me crazy. Breaks not only mean that I get to an extra day or two away from the kids but also from him. At first I felt bad about this....but now I don't. It's exhausting. I wish that at the beginning of the year I'd started writing down all of the mind blowing things that have happened. I feel like there's more.
I know there is.
But this will have to do for now.
05 February 2013
Sick and Emotional
I took a sick day.
I hate not being able to breath.
I hate coughing up crap.
I hate staying home and doing nothing.
I'm also very behind with the blogging.
I am worried about my weigh in.
I haven't gotten in the exercise.
I missed water aerobics tonight and I did not get in any movement yesterday.
Blergh.
In other news I cried today.
The last time I cried full on tears was years ago.
YEARS.
It's not that I'm not emotional.
I've just never been a big crier.
Today, I was surprised that I cried.
And I was surprised that the person I was on the phone with was the one who brought out the tears.
Will attempt to get back to my regular routine of Blogging this weekend.
I hate not being able to breath.
I hate coughing up crap.
I hate staying home and doing nothing.
I'm also very behind with the blogging.
I am worried about my weigh in.
I haven't gotten in the exercise.
I missed water aerobics tonight and I did not get in any movement yesterday.
Blergh.
In other news I cried today.
The last time I cried full on tears was years ago.
YEARS.
It's not that I'm not emotional.
I've just never been a big crier.
Today, I was surprised that I cried.
And I was surprised that the person I was on the phone with was the one who brought out the tears.
Will attempt to get back to my regular routine of Blogging this weekend.
31 January 2013
Weigh In - Week 5
Something worked this week - I'll blame it on the up of exercise.
That and being more intense with my meal planning.
And of course continuing to track.
A total of 2.6 lbs down for the week.
Making my grand total loss 9.4 lbs since December 28, 2012.
This also decreased my Daily Points Target to 29. This is a little bitter sweet.
Yay for less points, boo for less food with points plus values. More fruits and veggies.
And even better planning.
Next week - I WILL hit my 5% goal - which is a total of a 10 pound loss.
And this little video was just the pep talk I needed.
If you haven't seen the Kid President Pep Talk - that's what this is.
And it's pretty much the best.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-gQLqv9f4o
That and being more intense with my meal planning.
And of course continuing to track.
A total of 2.6 lbs down for the week.
Making my grand total loss 9.4 lbs since December 28, 2012.
This also decreased my Daily Points Target to 29. This is a little bitter sweet.
Yay for less points, boo for less food with points plus values. More fruits and veggies.
And even better planning.
Next week - I WILL hit my 5% goal - which is a total of a 10 pound loss.
And this little video was just the pep talk I needed.
If you haven't seen the Kid President Pep Talk - that's what this is.
And it's pretty much the best.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-gQLqv9f4o
29 January 2013
Quesadilla
I'm sharing this with you.
The most deliciously simple meal I've made.
The secret? Having already roasted brussels sprouts on hand.
Oh and finding huge tortillas that are only 2 points plus value each.
Tuck this simple little meal in your back pocket. I had it after water aerobics this evening and I'll totally be having it tomorrow night.
1 Tortilla (2pts)
1 wedge laughing cow cheese (I used garlic herb because it's what I had on hand) (1pt)
28 grams shredded low fat cheese (2pts)
1 egg - scrambled (2pts) (tomorrow night I'll add an egg white to the whole egg for the addition of 0pts)
Handful of quartered roasted brussels sprouts (1 pt due to the oil used in the process of roasting)
2 strips MorningstarFarms "bacon" (1pt)
9pts plus for a delicious and filling meal.
Tomorrow night I'll add the bell pepper that I forgot to add tonight, giving it more flavor and adding in more bulk/filling-ness.
I'd tell you the brand of tortillas - but that'll have to come in an edit. My feet are toasty warm in my sheets and I don't feel like venturing to the kitchen. (yes, a little lazy - but I did water aerobics this evening, so I'm allowed a little lazy)
EDIT!
The tortillas that I found are from La Tortilla Factory and are called Smart Delicious Tortillas.
I purchased them at a QFC in Portland, Ore.
The most deliciously simple meal I've made.
The secret? Having already roasted brussels sprouts on hand.
Oh and finding huge tortillas that are only 2 points plus value each.
Tuck this simple little meal in your back pocket. I had it after water aerobics this evening and I'll totally be having it tomorrow night.
1 Tortilla (2pts)
1 wedge laughing cow cheese (I used garlic herb because it's what I had on hand) (1pt)
28 grams shredded low fat cheese (2pts)
1 egg - scrambled (2pts) (tomorrow night I'll add an egg white to the whole egg for the addition of 0pts)
Handful of quartered roasted brussels sprouts (1 pt due to the oil used in the process of roasting)
2 strips MorningstarFarms "bacon" (1pt)
9pts plus for a delicious and filling meal.
Tomorrow night I'll add the bell pepper that I forgot to add tonight, giving it more flavor and adding in more bulk/filling-ness.
I'd tell you the brand of tortillas - but that'll have to come in an edit. My feet are toasty warm in my sheets and I don't feel like venturing to the kitchen. (yes, a little lazy - but I did water aerobics this evening, so I'm allowed a little lazy)
EDIT!
The tortillas that I found are from La Tortilla Factory and are called Smart Delicious Tortillas.
I purchased them at a QFC in Portland, Ore.
Parental Relationship (Question #3)
My mom: She raised me.
I’d say “by herself” - but I know she had the support of friends and family.
The day to day stuff though, was all her.
While we don’t talk every day, she is by far the most important person in my life.
I’ve probably never expressed how much I admire her tenacity. Her spirit.
She’s one heck of a fighter - and I’m pretty sure she probably doesn’t realize it.
She’s always shown me unconditional love and support.
For that - I am ever grateful.
When I was younger - I know I took her for granted. Isn’t that what most kids do?
As a woman who will turn 31 in July - I am fully understanding her sacrifice and the love she poured into raising me.
I’d like to say we have a good relationship.
I know I could be a better communicator - and that would only help it become great.
My mom: She raised me.
I love her to the moon and back.
27 January 2013
3 Legitimate Fears (Question #2)
1. Failing. At Life. It’s become a fear over the years because I have always struggled to survive on my own. I am horrible at money management. I am horrible at choosing jobs which allow me to make good amounts of money. Who doesn’t have the fear of Failing?
2. Ladders. I have no idea where my fear of them came from. I just really really really hate climbing up and down them. It’s gotten better over the years. I’m not afraid of heights. I’ll go up janky staircases. I remember being on a Mission Trip with my high school and were were in NM at these caves. Part of the tour was climbing up these huge ladders. I was shaking the whole way up. When we got to the top I wanted to die.
Again - I have no idea where the fear came from.
3. Being alone. I guess this goes along with failing at life. I’m not one of those gals that always has to have a significant other. I’ve been single more of my life than in couplehood. But the thought of never finding a person to share my life with scares me. I’ve always wanted a family. It’s part of who I am. And not finding a person to fill that dream with is scary.
2. Ladders. I have no idea where my fear of them came from. I just really really really hate climbing up and down them. It’s gotten better over the years. I’m not afraid of heights. I’ll go up janky staircases. I remember being on a Mission Trip with my high school and were were in NM at these caves. Part of the tour was climbing up these huge ladders. I was shaking the whole way up. When we got to the top I wanted to die.
Again - I have no idea where the fear came from.
3. Being alone. I guess this goes along with failing at life. I’m not one of those gals that always has to have a significant other. I’ve been single more of my life than in couplehood. But the thought of never finding a person to share my life with scares me. I’ve always wanted a family. It’s part of who I am. And not finding a person to fill that dream with is scary.
26 January 2013
Abs- Who Knew.
Apparently under it all I have them.
And they feel worked.
I did a 30 min workout last night via a DVD.
There was some ab stuff and some leg stuff.
This morning I decided to not sleep in but to go to Water Aerobics.
I usually only go on Tuesday. My instructor is young and nice and uses a microphone.
She gives us a pretty good workout.
This mornings instructor uses her drill saregent voice and is more intense.
It was a different workout - very focused on my abs...which while I don't see them, I know they exist.
I won't say today was a better workout than my Tuesday workout.
It was just more intense and focused on a different group of muscles.
I came home and made myself a breakfast scramble which included a couple spoonfuls of Trader Joe's diced Onions, Garlic, and Shallots, a handful of their broccoli slaw, about 1/4 cup of red kidney beans, 2 oz ground turkey, a small amount of taco seasoning, and an egg with a packet of mild taco bell sauce. Super filling and super delicious. With the small amount of oil I used it's a 6 pts+ meal. I also had a slice of bread with some country crock for an additional 4 pts+. I'll add in an orange to round it all out. Yeah - it's a 10 pts+ breakfast - but it'll keep me full for a while and it was what my body needed after the workout (which got me 6 activity points).
And they feel worked.
I did a 30 min workout last night via a DVD.
There was some ab stuff and some leg stuff.
This morning I decided to not sleep in but to go to Water Aerobics.
I usually only go on Tuesday. My instructor is young and nice and uses a microphone.
She gives us a pretty good workout.
This mornings instructor uses her drill saregent voice and is more intense.
It was a different workout - very focused on my abs...which while I don't see them, I know they exist.
I won't say today was a better workout than my Tuesday workout.
It was just more intense and focused on a different group of muscles.
I came home and made myself a breakfast scramble which included a couple spoonfuls of Trader Joe's diced Onions, Garlic, and Shallots, a handful of their broccoli slaw, about 1/4 cup of red kidney beans, 2 oz ground turkey, a small amount of taco seasoning, and an egg with a packet of mild taco bell sauce. Super filling and super delicious. With the small amount of oil I used it's a 6 pts+ meal. I also had a slice of bread with some country crock for an additional 4 pts+. I'll add in an orange to round it all out. Yeah - it's a 10 pts+ breakfast - but it'll keep me full for a while and it was what my body needed after the workout (which got me 6 activity points).
25 January 2013
Take 2 Steps Back
I totally caved today.
Purchased a loaf of bakery fresh french bread.
I did the fat girl move and tore off a piece once I got to my car.
Even more fat girl - I had purchased some Country Crock...and you know it. I opened it up and smooshed my bread into it.
Boom.
Fat Girl Heaven.
I proceeded to have some more with my dinner.
This time I actually cut off a hunk and weighed it to see how much I was eating. I topped it with a low point egg salad (I used 1 whole boiled egg, 2 just the whites boiled eggs, a tbsp of lite mayo, and a tsp of brown mustard along with some seasoning).
The rest of it sits in my kitchen. Untouched.
I also just ate a skinnycow ice cream sandwich and well, feel like crud.
I have to motivate myself to go to water aerobics tomorrow morning.
Class is at 7:30.
It'd be my step forward.
Now to go calculate my bread points.
Purchased a loaf of bakery fresh french bread.
I did the fat girl move and tore off a piece once I got to my car.
Even more fat girl - I had purchased some Country Crock...and you know it. I opened it up and smooshed my bread into it.
Boom.
Fat Girl Heaven.
I proceeded to have some more with my dinner.
This time I actually cut off a hunk and weighed it to see how much I was eating. I topped it with a low point egg salad (I used 1 whole boiled egg, 2 just the whites boiled eggs, a tbsp of lite mayo, and a tsp of brown mustard along with some seasoning).
The rest of it sits in my kitchen. Untouched.
I also just ate a skinnycow ice cream sandwich and well, feel like crud.
I have to motivate myself to go to water aerobics tomorrow morning.
Class is at 7:30.
It'd be my step forward.
Now to go calculate my bread points.
24 January 2013
20 Random Facts About Me - Taire (Question #1)
1. My name is from an episode of Star Trek - Season 2, Episode 19: A Private Little War.
2. I am an only child who grew up in a single parent household.
3. Pictures of me from High School can be categorized into three groups: Girl Scouts, Band, and Youth Group.
4. Going skydiving is on my list of things to do.
5. I own all 10 seasons of Friends. I never start from the beginning when I put em on though. Usually season 3 or 4.
6. I didn’t start driving until 2009. I was 27 years old.
7. When I moved to Buffalo in November of 2004 I didn’t know anybody. It was thrilling and so very frightening all at the same time.
8. The year I turned 25 I treated myself to a massage and a haircut. I sat in the stylist’s chair for well over an hour. She was scared of my curly hair. I was finally rescued by the shop owner who had curly hair himself.
9. My first shot was with a drag queen in Buffalo
10. I don’t like the movie Napoleon Dynamite.
11. When I was little I wanted my name to be Summer and I aspired to be either a Nurse or an Ice Skater. I didn’t go ice skating until I was in Jr. High.
12. I would only drink chocolate milk when I was younger. It had to be very cold. But no ice in it. It weirded me out that one of my college roommates put ice in her milk. But she had a weird oral fixation with chewing on the stuff. Oh wait...that’s not really about me, is it?
13. I used to practice tap dancing in the grocery store - this was while I attended Jr. College.
14. I grew up with a rotary telephone and a black and white tv. If you’ve done the math from my previous facts - I was born in 1982. I received Annie and Peter Pan before we had a color TV or a VCR.
15. The only pet I’ve ever had was a rat named Brown Sugar. I grew up in an apartment complex and I’m not sure if they didn’t allow large pets or if my mom just never wanted us to have one. When she died, my mom buried her (in a box) under the Office Depot that was being built in my hometown.
16. I have a half brother that I’ve only met once. His name is Jason. We have the same paternal DNA.
17. I’ve tried star fruit and dragon fruit. I liked neither.
18. I almost never remember my dreams - unless they are amazingly crazy and weird. And that is really rare.
19. I have never traveled abroad - save for going to Jamaica on a cruise. This fact makes me sad. Eventually I’d like to travel to England where my grandmother was born. And Australia.
20. I feel like even though I am 30 I still have a long way to go in developing who I am.
2. I am an only child who grew up in a single parent household.
3. Pictures of me from High School can be categorized into three groups: Girl Scouts, Band, and Youth Group.
4. Going skydiving is on my list of things to do.
5. I own all 10 seasons of Friends. I never start from the beginning when I put em on though. Usually season 3 or 4.
6. I didn’t start driving until 2009. I was 27 years old.
7. When I moved to Buffalo in November of 2004 I didn’t know anybody. It was thrilling and so very frightening all at the same time.
8. The year I turned 25 I treated myself to a massage and a haircut. I sat in the stylist’s chair for well over an hour. She was scared of my curly hair. I was finally rescued by the shop owner who had curly hair himself.
9. My first shot was with a drag queen in Buffalo
10. I don’t like the movie Napoleon Dynamite.
11. When I was little I wanted my name to be Summer and I aspired to be either a Nurse or an Ice Skater. I didn’t go ice skating until I was in Jr. High.
12. I would only drink chocolate milk when I was younger. It had to be very cold. But no ice in it. It weirded me out that one of my college roommates put ice in her milk. But she had a weird oral fixation with chewing on the stuff. Oh wait...that’s not really about me, is it?
13. I used to practice tap dancing in the grocery store - this was while I attended Jr. College.
14. I grew up with a rotary telephone and a black and white tv. If you’ve done the math from my previous facts - I was born in 1982. I received Annie and Peter Pan before we had a color TV or a VCR.
15. The only pet I’ve ever had was a rat named Brown Sugar. I grew up in an apartment complex and I’m not sure if they didn’t allow large pets or if my mom just never wanted us to have one. When she died, my mom buried her (in a box) under the Office Depot that was being built in my hometown.
16. I have a half brother that I’ve only met once. His name is Jason. We have the same paternal DNA.
17. I’ve tried star fruit and dragon fruit. I liked neither.
18. I almost never remember my dreams - unless they are amazingly crazy and weird. And that is really rare.
19. I have never traveled abroad - save for going to Jamaica on a cruise. This fact makes me sad. Eventually I’d like to travel to England where my grandmother was born. And Australia.
20. I feel like even though I am 30 I still have a long way to go in developing who I am.
Weigh In - Week 4
Not answering any of those list questions just yet.
Figured I'd do my weekly weigh in.
.8 pounds lost this week.
Tiny movement in the right direction.
But I'll take it!
I really do like the meeting I chose to go to.
It's full of a lot of lovely people (mostly ladies).
And my leader - she's so real people!
She talked to us about how she ended up at Krispy Kreme on Sunday and ate 5 donuts.
5!
or in Weight Watchers talk: 130 points plus worth of donuts.
I know what I did wrong this week and what to do to make it better - well, for the most part.
Onto the new week and loosing more of this unhealthy weight.
-As a side note - I've been doing my darndest to plan ahead. Last week worked out much better. I think I just liked my food choices way more. This weekend I have to do some searching to find a tasty lunch/dinner. It's pretty much the best way for me to survive the week - same meal planned out for each lunch and dinner Monday-Thursday. Friday I try to switch it up. Take something different to work. Otherwise I get bored.
I also have to figure out how to manage the weekend.
So much to learn. Good thing I've got my whole life to figure it all out.
Figured I'd do my weekly weigh in.
.8 pounds lost this week.
Tiny movement in the right direction.
But I'll take it!
I really do like the meeting I chose to go to.
It's full of a lot of lovely people (mostly ladies).
And my leader - she's so real people!
She talked to us about how she ended up at Krispy Kreme on Sunday and ate 5 donuts.
5!
or in Weight Watchers talk: 130 points plus worth of donuts.
I know what I did wrong this week and what to do to make it better - well, for the most part.
Onto the new week and loosing more of this unhealthy weight.
-As a side note - I've been doing my darndest to plan ahead. Last week worked out much better. I think I just liked my food choices way more. This weekend I have to do some searching to find a tasty lunch/dinner. It's pretty much the best way for me to survive the week - same meal planned out for each lunch and dinner Monday-Thursday. Friday I try to switch it up. Take something different to work. Otherwise I get bored.
I also have to figure out how to manage the weekend.
So much to learn. Good thing I've got my whole life to figure it all out.
23 January 2013
Some Direction
I did not come up with this list....
But I think it'd be good for me to have some direction.
So I think that starting with my next blog post - I will answer the questions. I might switch the order, I might rephrase the question. Perhaps make it more of my own....but this list will be my guideline.
List is borrowed from this blog: http://cherishinghopesanddreams.blogspot.com/2012/01/30-things.html
1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.
Feeding the Hunger or Why Do I ALWAYS Want Chocolate
No Really - I think there might be something wrong with me.
I am constantly craving chocolate.
And no, it has nothing to do with what time of the month it is.
Clearly I am missing a key ingredient in my diet.
All signs lead to Magnesium.
Further research shows me the top 10 Foods Highest in Magnesium:
1. Bran
2. Dried Herbs
3. Squash, Pumpkin, and Watermelon Seeds (Dried or Roasted)
4. Cocoa Powder (Dark Chocolate)....It's not a list that replaces chocolate, but for my purpose it is ironic
5. Flax, Sesame Seeds, and Sesame Butter
6. Brazil Nuts
7. Sunflower Seeds
8. Almonds and Cashews
9. Molasses
10. Dry Roasted Soybeans (Edamame)
This list came from this link: http://www.healthaliciousness.com/articles/foods-high-in-magnesium.php
The problem is with WW I try to stay away from nuts. They are just plain high in points.
Edamame, while delicious, is also not a super point friendly food.
Dr. Oz has a slightly different list - which includes bananas (something I have one of daily) and kidney beans - which this week I am eating in my lunch.
http://www.doctoroz.com/slideshow/magnesium-grocery-list#slide-1
Clearly I need to figure out something.
For now, I'll continue to try and curb my sweet tooth/chocolate craving with tea and fruit and perhaps some oatmeal.
I am constantly craving chocolate.
And no, it has nothing to do with what time of the month it is.
Clearly I am missing a key ingredient in my diet.
All signs lead to Magnesium.
Further research shows me the top 10 Foods Highest in Magnesium:
1. Bran
2. Dried Herbs
3. Squash, Pumpkin, and Watermelon Seeds (Dried or Roasted)
4. Cocoa Powder (Dark Chocolate)....It's not a list that replaces chocolate, but for my purpose it is ironic
5. Flax, Sesame Seeds, and Sesame Butter
6. Brazil Nuts
7. Sunflower Seeds
8. Almonds and Cashews
9. Molasses
10. Dry Roasted Soybeans (Edamame)
This list came from this link: http://www.healthaliciousness.com/articles/foods-high-in-magnesium.php
The problem is with WW I try to stay away from nuts. They are just plain high in points.
Edamame, while delicious, is also not a super point friendly food.
Dr. Oz has a slightly different list - which includes bananas (something I have one of daily) and kidney beans - which this week I am eating in my lunch.
http://www.doctoroz.com/slideshow/magnesium-grocery-list#slide-1
Clearly I need to figure out something.
For now, I'll continue to try and curb my sweet tooth/chocolate craving with tea and fruit and perhaps some oatmeal.
21 January 2013
What's a Date?
Soooo.....I'm on this online dating website.
A free one.
And I feel like my profile isn't complete crap.
I've got honest pictures of myself.
I've sent a decent number of "hello" messages.
Yet, I almost never get a return.
It's starting to make me question my self worth.
Am I really not attractive to men here in Portland?
I really miss being in a relationship.
I really do want to get married - settle down.
I am 30.
I really didn't want to be in my mid-late 30's when I had my first child.
Want, want, want.
Perhaps that's the problem.
I want it all.
I need to stop looking.
No wait, I've done that too.
I'm not sure how to get myself out there.
I don't like bars and I know a bunch of girls who claim that they don't know anyone good enough for me.
So men of Portland, what's the deal?
A free one.
And I feel like my profile isn't complete crap.
I've got honest pictures of myself.
I've sent a decent number of "hello" messages.
Yet, I almost never get a return.
It's starting to make me question my self worth.
Am I really not attractive to men here in Portland?
I really miss being in a relationship.
I really do want to get married - settle down.
I am 30.
I really didn't want to be in my mid-late 30's when I had my first child.
Want, want, want.
Perhaps that's the problem.
I want it all.
I need to stop looking.
No wait, I've done that too.
I'm not sure how to get myself out there.
I don't like bars and I know a bunch of girls who claim that they don't know anyone good enough for me.
So men of Portland, what's the deal?
20 January 2013
Attack of the Fat Girl
Yesterday was the Season 8 opener for The Rose City Rollers.
The bout started at 5:45. I was at the venue by 1pm.
I do this because I don't like to be rushed and because I like to make sure that things are in place.
And I can keep our Rinxter guy company - kind of.
I packed some food with me.
Healthy food.
Food which I had tracked the points for.
I ate some of it.
But then there were burritos brought in.
They feed the yellow shirt volunteers and we (the officials) can snag what's left.
I snagged one.
I don't even know how hungry I was.
I'm pretty sure I would have survived without it.
But I ate it.
The Whole Damn Thing.
Then there's the after party.
We have a pretty good pizza sponsor.
They make a killer supreme veggie pizza - it has roasted garlic and artichoke on it.
Once again, I'm not even sure I was that hungry - but I ate a slice of that veggie pizza. Then went back and got a slice of the hawaiian. I even questioned myself on that.
Seriously - fat girl. Next time, step away from the pizza.
Once slice would have totally been enough.
Today is a NEW DAY and I'm going to to my darndest to stay within my points, eat fruits/veggies, and get in some exercise. Skating is on the agenda.
Now if only I could shake this cold.
The bout started at 5:45. I was at the venue by 1pm.
I do this because I don't like to be rushed and because I like to make sure that things are in place.
And I can keep our Rinxter guy company - kind of.
I packed some food with me.
Healthy food.
Food which I had tracked the points for.
I ate some of it.
But then there were burritos brought in.
They feed the yellow shirt volunteers and we (the officials) can snag what's left.
I snagged one.
I don't even know how hungry I was.
I'm pretty sure I would have survived without it.
But I ate it.
The Whole Damn Thing.
Then there's the after party.
We have a pretty good pizza sponsor.
They make a killer supreme veggie pizza - it has roasted garlic and artichoke on it.
Once again, I'm not even sure I was that hungry - but I ate a slice of that veggie pizza. Then went back and got a slice of the hawaiian. I even questioned myself on that.
Seriously - fat girl. Next time, step away from the pizza.
Once slice would have totally been enough.
Today is a NEW DAY and I'm going to to my darndest to stay within my points, eat fruits/veggies, and get in some exercise. Skating is on the agenda.
Now if only I could shake this cold.
19 January 2013
Bout Day
Today is the Season 8 Opener for the Rose City Rollers.
It marks my third season opener. Though, the first one I'm pretty sure I was oblivious to it being a season opener as I was still somewhat new.
This bout is more magical because it is held at Memorial Coliseum and it's a double header.
We don't often do double headers. We do 2-3 bout weekends instead.
In some ways, I wish we'd do more double headers.
But our fans don't like them as much.
This particular bout also happens to overlap Rat Cities Season Opener.
As well as a few other minor leagues who are having bouts.
Things are becoming more mixed up in our worlds.
More bouts are overlapping. Even over tournament weekends.
Or maybe that's just us - silly Rose is having a 3 day bout weekend the same weekend as a
tournament that is in our own state.
At any rate, after this bout I'll be taking 3-4 weeks off.
I need to regroup, and decide what role I want to continue with.
If any.
I also really wish I didn't have a head cold.
I'll be bringing a box of tissues to the event.
Along with my water bottle (though, that's typical)
It marks my third season opener. Though, the first one I'm pretty sure I was oblivious to it being a season opener as I was still somewhat new.
This bout is more magical because it is held at Memorial Coliseum and it's a double header.
We don't often do double headers. We do 2-3 bout weekends instead.
In some ways, I wish we'd do more double headers.
But our fans don't like them as much.
This particular bout also happens to overlap Rat Cities Season Opener.
As well as a few other minor leagues who are having bouts.
Things are becoming more mixed up in our worlds.
More bouts are overlapping. Even over tournament weekends.
Or maybe that's just us - silly Rose is having a 3 day bout weekend the same weekend as a
tournament that is in our own state.
At any rate, after this bout I'll be taking 3-4 weeks off.
I need to regroup, and decide what role I want to continue with.
If any.
I also really wish I didn't have a head cold.
I'll be bringing a box of tissues to the event.
Along with my water bottle (though, that's typical)
17 January 2013
The Loss
Tonight I attended my third WW meeting.
I weighed in and found that I had managed to loose 3 pounds this week.
I blame it on making my lunch/dinner for the week on Sunday, tracking religiously, and getting in exercise.
Now - can I keep it up this week?
I sure hope so.
I just have to find something inspiring to eat this week.
And I need to get in more exercise.
That last sentence will probably be my mantra for the rest of my life.
I weighed in and found that I had managed to loose 3 pounds this week.
I blame it on making my lunch/dinner for the week on Sunday, tracking religiously, and getting in exercise.
Now - can I keep it up this week?
I sure hope so.
I just have to find something inspiring to eat this week.
And I need to get in more exercise.
That last sentence will probably be my mantra for the rest of my life.
14 January 2013
A Before Photo
I suppose I should put a before photo on here.
This is really a before photo. It's from my first summer here in Portland - summer of 2010.
I lost 30 of it that Fall - but put most of it back on. Though, in a different way. My face isn't quite as full.
Either way - it's a size I don't want to be ever again.
This is really a before photo. It's from my first summer here in Portland - summer of 2010.
I lost 30 of it that Fall - but put most of it back on. Though, in a different way. My face isn't quite as full.
Either way - it's a size I don't want to be ever again.
13 January 2013
Cooking, Cooking, Cooking
So I am tragically poor.
Thankfully, when I thought I had money I had purchased a spaghetti squash and salmon.
Today I managed to spend under $40 at the store and have spent the day cooking for the week.
Lunch will be 1oz salmon which was cooked in the toaster oven. I only added lemon salt and some other seasoning. Along with the salmon will be 3oz of spaghetti squash. Today was my first time ever making it!
The hardest part was cutting the squash in half. After scraping out the guts I placed it cut side down on a baking sheet and put it in the oven for about 40 min (oven was set at 375). Once cooked, I scraped out the inside with a fork and added in a little olive oil and some garlic powder. I'll be adding in some cooked down arugula (it ends up being 3 points plus)
Dinner will be Potato Kale Soup. I took the recipe in one of the WW cookbooks, but did it all in the crock pot. I added a little pepper for taste and Kale! The broth is pretty tasty. It comes out to 5 points plus per serving. It's highly likely I'll add some chicken. We shall see though.
I'm crossing my fingers that I don't get bored with all of this.
I'm proud of myself for getting this done on the weekend.
Though, I do need to go make a few smoothies. So I've got that done also.
On a side note - I totally have my outfits for the week picked out. This is not the usual.
Trying to form new habits and do things that are good for me.
Thankfully, when I thought I had money I had purchased a spaghetti squash and salmon.
Today I managed to spend under $40 at the store and have spent the day cooking for the week.
Lunch will be 1oz salmon which was cooked in the toaster oven. I only added lemon salt and some other seasoning. Along with the salmon will be 3oz of spaghetti squash. Today was my first time ever making it!
The hardest part was cutting the squash in half. After scraping out the guts I placed it cut side down on a baking sheet and put it in the oven for about 40 min (oven was set at 375). Once cooked, I scraped out the inside with a fork and added in a little olive oil and some garlic powder. I'll be adding in some cooked down arugula (it ends up being 3 points plus)
Dinner will be Potato Kale Soup. I took the recipe in one of the WW cookbooks, but did it all in the crock pot. I added a little pepper for taste and Kale! The broth is pretty tasty. It comes out to 5 points plus per serving. It's highly likely I'll add some chicken. We shall see though.
I'm crossing my fingers that I don't get bored with all of this.
I'm proud of myself for getting this done on the weekend.
Though, I do need to go make a few smoothies. So I've got that done also.
On a side note - I totally have my outfits for the week picked out. This is not the usual.
Trying to form new habits and do things that are good for me.
11 January 2013
Paleo?
I know nothing about the Paleo diet.
But I think I will research it.
I'm posting the links to these two blogs here so that I don't forget them.
And perhaps someone out there who might come across my little blog will find them useful or at least have something to say about the Paleo diet.
http://paleopilgrimage.com/
and
http://nomnompaleo.com/recipeindex
There you have it.
Or perhaps, there I have it.
ch ch ch ch changes....
But I think I will research it.
I'm posting the links to these two blogs here so that I don't forget them.
And perhaps someone out there who might come across my little blog will find them useful or at least have something to say about the Paleo diet.
http://paleopilgrimage.com/
and
http://nomnompaleo.com/recipeindex
There you have it.
Or perhaps, there I have it.
ch ch ch ch changes....
Weight Loss Excuses
I have a bunch of excuses.
Reasons why this week I lost but 1 little pound.
Don't get me wrong - I am happy I managed to loose.
A loss of any size is movement in the right direction.
My sister and her husband were here and we ate out.
I did a horrible job at tracking.
I went back to work and it was stressful.
Aunt Flo was visiting and well, she made me eat things that I didn't really need.
See.
A bunch of excuses.
I am down a total of 3 pounds.
That's three pounds less of me taking up your space.
And for that, you are welcome.
At my meeting on Thursday I stayed for the after session.
I like the leader - she's sassy and quick witted.
The group is a good group of ladies - many of whom attended the same meeting I went to the first time I joined WW.
I decided to purchase the 360 kit. In it there is a measuring tape. Of which, I plan on using this weekend.
I plan on doing a lot this weekend.
Reevaluating how I am getting in my fruits and veggies.
Planning out my exercise routine.
Making a few goals.
It's the only way that I'm going to make this happen. And I'm doing it for me.
Knowing some of the crap my mom is going through right now - health things, a lot of them due to her weight - inspires me to Not want to have to deal with it all when I'm in my 60's, or even younger. I already battle with achy joints. And I know when I lost weight the last time, some of that went away.
My mantra for this week: I am strong.
Reasons why this week I lost but 1 little pound.
Don't get me wrong - I am happy I managed to loose.
A loss of any size is movement in the right direction.
My sister and her husband were here and we ate out.
I did a horrible job at tracking.
I went back to work and it was stressful.
Aunt Flo was visiting and well, she made me eat things that I didn't really need.
See.
A bunch of excuses.
I am down a total of 3 pounds.
That's three pounds less of me taking up your space.
And for that, you are welcome.
At my meeting on Thursday I stayed for the after session.
I like the leader - she's sassy and quick witted.
The group is a good group of ladies - many of whom attended the same meeting I went to the first time I joined WW.
I decided to purchase the 360 kit. In it there is a measuring tape. Of which, I plan on using this weekend.
I plan on doing a lot this weekend.
Reevaluating how I am getting in my fruits and veggies.
Planning out my exercise routine.
Making a few goals.
It's the only way that I'm going to make this happen. And I'm doing it for me.
Knowing some of the crap my mom is going through right now - health things, a lot of them due to her weight - inspires me to Not want to have to deal with it all when I'm in my 60's, or even younger. I already battle with achy joints. And I know when I lost weight the last time, some of that went away.
My mantra for this week: I am strong.
06 January 2013
Do I Step Out Completely?
Last night as I was lying in bed attempting to go to sleep I found myself writing a letter in my head to an organization.
One that I've given 2 yrs of my life to.
As I was writing this letter I realized that I don't find what I'm doing fun.
I've lost my zeal for it.
I think I somewhat realized this awhile ago - but fully realized it last night.
There is so much negative energy right now and so little being done about it.
And I find myself not wanting to be there.
I used to be able to cheer for all in some way. I might have preferred certain folks, but I could get behind everybody and show support.
That feeling is gone.
Left the building.
I still love the concept. What they do for the community.
Here's my problem - what I've been doing the past year and a half, there's really nobody who is primed to take my place. There's nobody that has shown interest. Most are involved in some other capacity.
So stepping out would make me feel guilty. I can't completely blame the organization. I'm the one who dedicated so much time. Who let them use me to the best of my ability.
Guilt via a volunteer position.
That's not right is it?
I'm so unsure of what to do right now.
One that I've given 2 yrs of my life to.
As I was writing this letter I realized that I don't find what I'm doing fun.
I've lost my zeal for it.
I think I somewhat realized this awhile ago - but fully realized it last night.
There is so much negative energy right now and so little being done about it.
And I find myself not wanting to be there.
I used to be able to cheer for all in some way. I might have preferred certain folks, but I could get behind everybody and show support.
That feeling is gone.
Left the building.
I still love the concept. What they do for the community.
Here's my problem - what I've been doing the past year and a half, there's really nobody who is primed to take my place. There's nobody that has shown interest. Most are involved in some other capacity.
So stepping out would make me feel guilty. I can't completely blame the organization. I'm the one who dedicated so much time. Who let them use me to the best of my ability.
Guilt via a volunteer position.
That's not right is it?
I'm so unsure of what to do right now.
04 January 2013
If only we could all be so awesome
"This is pretty much as badass as imaginable--
"The Gulabi gang (from Hindi gulabi, "pink", transln. "pink gang") is a group of women vigilantes and activists originally from Banda in Bundelkhand district, Uttar Pradesh, India, but reported to be active across North India as of 2010. It is named after the pink saris worn by its members.
The gang was founded in 2006 by Sampat Pal Devi, a mother of five and former government health worker (and a former child bride), as a response to widespread domestic abuse and other violence against women. Gulabis visit abusive husbands and beat them up with laathis (bamboo sticks) unless they stop abusing their wives. In 2008, they stormed an electricity office in Banda district and forced officials to turn back the power they had cut in order to extract bribes. They have also stopped child marriages and protested dowry and female illiteracy."
(I stole this from FB, I hope it is all true)
"The Gulabi gang (from Hindi gulabi, "pink", transln. "pink gang") is a group of women vigilantes and activists originally from Banda in Bundelkhand district, Uttar Pradesh, India, but reported to be active across North India as of 2010. It is named after the pink saris worn by its members.
The gang was founded in 2006 by Sampat Pal Devi, a mother of five and former government health worker (and a former child bride), as a response to widespread domestic abuse and other violence against women. Gulabis visit abusive husbands and beat them up with laathis (bamboo sticks) unless they stop abusing their wives. In 2008, they stormed an electricity office in Banda district and forced officials to turn back the power they had cut in order to extract bribes. They have also stopped child marriages and protested dowry and female illiteracy."
(I stole this from FB, I hope it is all true)
Smoothie Harmony
Since the beginning of the school year (august-ish) I've been making myself a smoothie for breakfast. I've calculated the points but as I was not really doing weight watchers at that point I didn't add them all together or pay much attention. I make them in a large mason jar, which my blender blade/base will screw onto. It's really very convenient because after smoothie is made (I try to make them in the evening so everything can meld together) I screw on the mason jar lid and I'm ready to go.
My smoothie this morning was 11 points+. My smoothie yesterday was 12 points+
I took away the peanut butter and used the whole serving of whey protein (I had only been using half).
Part of it is the 3 point yogurt. I have a ton of yogurt that I need to use. So for now, high point value yogurt!
Also - the pureed sweet potato. That alone is 2 points+. Once I use it all up I'll switch over to pumpkin which has 0 points+
So what my morning smoothie will look like:
Non-Dairy milk (right now it's coconut milk, but when I shopped at TJ's yesterday, they had none - so I picked up almond milk) = 1-2 points +
Yogurt (4-6 oz) = 2-3 points+
Pumpkin = 0 points+
Banana/Apple = 0 points+
Frozen Fruit = 0 points+
Spinach/Kale/Chard = 0 points+ (this is a bag mix from TJ's)
Ground Flax Meal = 2 points+ (Bob's Red Mill)
Whey/Soy Protein = 2 points + (Whey Protein is Bob's Red Mill. The Soy Protein I purchased at TJ's and will start using when the Whey Protein is gone)
If I add together the highest point values plus all others that takes me down to a 9 points+ smoothie with a ton of protein (7 points+ if I can use only 4 oz of my liquid and find a 2 point+ yogurt)
I go for a lot of protein because I drink my breakfast between 7:30 and 7:45 and don't get lunch until 12:30/12:45. I work with busy special needs middle schoolers and I have to be able to last with what I have for breakfast.
My WW meeting took me down to 30 Daily Points from 31. That's only one point - but that's less things I can eat that have a point value. So if I can get my smoothie down in points but keep it filling - I'm on the right track. Plus, it gets me 2 servings of veggies and 2.5 servings of fruit.
I use a scale to weigh everything. It's probably the best purchase I've made to help me with my weight loss journey. It's nothing fancy. It is electronic and will zero out, which is handy dandy. I even use it when I'm eating crackers. I don't trust the number of crackers per serving that they tell you - instead I weigh out the gram amount. Sometimes you get less, sometimes you get more. Either way - it's been so very amazingly helpful, especially in smoothie making.
My smoothie this morning was 11 points+. My smoothie yesterday was 12 points+
I took away the peanut butter and used the whole serving of whey protein (I had only been using half).
Part of it is the 3 point yogurt. I have a ton of yogurt that I need to use. So for now, high point value yogurt!
Also - the pureed sweet potato. That alone is 2 points+. Once I use it all up I'll switch over to pumpkin which has 0 points+
So what my morning smoothie will look like:
Non-Dairy milk (right now it's coconut milk, but when I shopped at TJ's yesterday, they had none - so I picked up almond milk) = 1-2 points +
Yogurt (4-6 oz) = 2-3 points+
Pumpkin = 0 points+
Banana/Apple = 0 points+
Frozen Fruit = 0 points+
Spinach/Kale/Chard = 0 points+ (this is a bag mix from TJ's)
Ground Flax Meal = 2 points+ (Bob's Red Mill)
Whey/Soy Protein = 2 points + (Whey Protein is Bob's Red Mill. The Soy Protein I purchased at TJ's and will start using when the Whey Protein is gone)
If I add together the highest point values plus all others that takes me down to a 9 points+ smoothie with a ton of protein (7 points+ if I can use only 4 oz of my liquid and find a 2 point+ yogurt)
I go for a lot of protein because I drink my breakfast between 7:30 and 7:45 and don't get lunch until 12:30/12:45. I work with busy special needs middle schoolers and I have to be able to last with what I have for breakfast.
My WW meeting took me down to 30 Daily Points from 31. That's only one point - but that's less things I can eat that have a point value. So if I can get my smoothie down in points but keep it filling - I'm on the right track. Plus, it gets me 2 servings of veggies and 2.5 servings of fruit.
I use a scale to weigh everything. It's probably the best purchase I've made to help me with my weight loss journey. It's nothing fancy. It is electronic and will zero out, which is handy dandy. I even use it when I'm eating crackers. I don't trust the number of crackers per serving that they tell you - instead I weigh out the gram amount. Sometimes you get less, sometimes you get more. Either way - it's been so very amazingly helpful, especially in smoothie making.
03 January 2013
Finding Food
In the past 2 days I have managed to discover a few rather tasty low point plus items.
One of them being laughing cow's cinnamon cream cheese wedges. Spread on a bagel thin and add some thinly sliced apple and you have a delicious 3 pts + snack/part of a meal.
Today for lunch I had some hominy mixed with tomato soup. I added in 1/2 of a bagel thin for some whole wheat. 5pts +
Next step is to adjust my morning smoothie. Right now it's sitting at a pretty high points plus value. I purchased a bag of kale/chard/spinach mix and plan on pureeing it and pouring that into an ice cube tray. I know that otherwise I won't get it all used. I also plan on cutting out the peanut butter. I will just use the whole serving of the whey/soy protein. The addition of apples will also help up the fiber/filling content.
Adventure time in creating yummy things that will help me stay full, loose weight, and get in plenty o healthy things.
Beyond that I need to focus on upping my daily water intake. I'm really bad about drinking as much as I should. I have a tiny bladder and hate having to use the restroom all of the time.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Weighed in this evening. Managed to loose 2lbs. Two pounds less of me in this world.
Pretty exciting considering I didn't think I had done that well.
It's not about willpower.
It's about control.
I am in control of my life.
One of them being laughing cow's cinnamon cream cheese wedges. Spread on a bagel thin and add some thinly sliced apple and you have a delicious 3 pts + snack/part of a meal.
Today for lunch I had some hominy mixed with tomato soup. I added in 1/2 of a bagel thin for some whole wheat. 5pts +
Next step is to adjust my morning smoothie. Right now it's sitting at a pretty high points plus value. I purchased a bag of kale/chard/spinach mix and plan on pureeing it and pouring that into an ice cube tray. I know that otherwise I won't get it all used. I also plan on cutting out the peanut butter. I will just use the whole serving of the whey/soy protein. The addition of apples will also help up the fiber/filling content.
Adventure time in creating yummy things that will help me stay full, loose weight, and get in plenty o healthy things.
Beyond that I need to focus on upping my daily water intake. I'm really bad about drinking as much as I should. I have a tiny bladder and hate having to use the restroom all of the time.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Weighed in this evening. Managed to loose 2lbs. Two pounds less of me in this world.
Pretty exciting considering I didn't think I had done that well.
It's not about willpower.
It's about control.
I am in control of my life.
01 January 2013
2013
It's a new year!
I don't make resolutions typically - but I do try and make goals.
Have I figured them out yet? Nope.
I do know that my number one goal this year will be improving me.
My lifestyle.
My weight.
The choices I make.
All of them need to have the end product of making a better me.
Perhaps that is a good enough start.
The first good choice I made was to ring in the New Year with some rather wonderful people. While this year lacked a friend bursting through the door to join the countdown with 5 seconds left or hot jamz, it was delightful none the less. There was a lot of laughter and joy. I tried drinking vinegar for the first time (mixed with a shot of vodka and some club soda - it was pretty tasty). I shared delicious food. And I laughed while a large group of us played cards against humanity.
Here is to 2013.
I know that it's going to be a great year because I will make it so.
And I will do my best to overcome the inevitable bumps in the road, not alone, but by seeking out the companionship and help of my friends.
I don't make resolutions typically - but I do try and make goals.
Have I figured them out yet? Nope.
I do know that my number one goal this year will be improving me.
My lifestyle.
My weight.
The choices I make.
All of them need to have the end product of making a better me.
Perhaps that is a good enough start.
The first good choice I made was to ring in the New Year with some rather wonderful people. While this year lacked a friend bursting through the door to join the countdown with 5 seconds left or hot jamz, it was delightful none the less. There was a lot of laughter and joy. I tried drinking vinegar for the first time (mixed with a shot of vodka and some club soda - it was pretty tasty). I shared delicious food. And I laughed while a large group of us played cards against humanity.
Here is to 2013.
I know that it's going to be a great year because I will make it so.
And I will do my best to overcome the inevitable bumps in the road, not alone, but by seeking out the companionship and help of my friends.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)